I had one of those weeks… It was super busy, sometimes intense with some ups and downs. At various times, I was reminded to replenish myself with the good people around me. My own parenting has helped me through these times.

As Collin is about to turn 4, we’ve been working on building his independence. As hard as it is on him, it is hard on me. Last month, it was potty training. This week, we were working on sleeping in bed by himself. After bath and story time, he now asks me to leave his bed and says, “I don’t need you in my bed anymore.”

A part of me dies inside every time I hear him say this but I know it is part of developing his self and independence.

The other night, I heard him crying at 4 am. It was odd because he usually cries (or screams) for us. I waited and still nothing. He was sobbing in the dark all by himself. I couldn’t help myself and went to the bed to see if he was okay.

I asked, “What happened?” As he composed himself, he responded, “There was a car… that was not quiet and I got scared.” (Turns out it was a loud and annoying motorcycle.)

It made me sad because he was trying SO hard to be a “big kid” and did not want to call on us. Yet, he was also very scared. I laid with him the rest of night.

The next morning, we debriefed what happened.  I reassured him that even though we are not in his bed that he was not alone.

The next morning, we debriefed what happened.  I reassured him that even though we are not in his bed that he was not alone.

We started to name all his friends. Of course, the stuffed animals in his bed were first. Then, we named family members, chosen family, preschool, and community friends. The more people we named, his eyes lit up and the more excited he got!

Then, I asked him, “Do you know why I’m not alone?”

“Why…?” he asked in a super serious face.

“Because I have you!!” I said.

BIG smiles after that.

I wondered how much he absorbed. I wondered if this is the cusp of building self and learning NOT to ask for help. Is this what we teach our children as they grow up? What is the balance of independence towards interdependence?

Before getting too deep into this (as I often do), I remind myself the need for curiosity, spaciousness, and my own self awareness. What am I feeling when I’m less needed in this way? Hmm.

Sometimes, I need to remember my own advice. Right now, in the midst of the chaos in the moment, parenting guides me better than anything else. It is at the core of following my heart and essentially being responsible for the development of a tiny (and awesome) human being.

We often forget how much love and support is actually around us. It is complicated and so simple at the same time. And, as Collin is becoming his own person, he is not alone. I remind myself that I am not alone either.


Collin pictured with one of his new drawings of a fire station he drew on a chalk tabletop. He is pictured and smiling 😀