It’s been hard to write these days, hard to look at my social media feed, hard to manage distance learning for an almost 6 year old, hard to slow down because of all the sadness and f’d up shit that is happening right now.

But last weekend, Mychi and I did just that. We took a step back from all the intensity and celebrated our 10 year wedding and commitment anniversary! We went on our first COVID19 overnight solo staycation in the Bay Area, actually it may be the first time we ever did this. Looking back at a full decade and full decade ahead, we soaked in all the goodness but also sat in the dark moment this country and world is in. I have immense gratitude for the love and community we have had in these times. I also got more clarity and finally finished this blog that has been sitting on my computer for a few weeks. 

My last blog was about being 44. The one thing I forget to say is that I feel more free to give unsolicited advice as a yelder. Much of this serves as a reminder for myself too. Needless to say, in the midst of climate fires, state sanctioned police violence and vigilantism, authoritarianism on the ballot, and the aftermath, a new world war with China, just to name a few, we are on the cusp of some very uncertain times. I’m entering this moment EYES. WIDE. OPEN. 

As we’re mired in all this, I see many of us (including myself) getting stuck in contradictions and some dangerous trends. These are not “new” per se and I’ve written about some of this before (i.e. the 3 Ps of Pessimism, Perfectionism and Purism) but the context and conditions are different and the stakes are WAAAY higher. 

Here are 5 I’ve been thinking about but there are definitely more and many ways of saying this. Here they go! ….