I repeatedly said to myself that I was going to avoid saying that they are putting kids in cages to Collin as we were driving over to go to the Families Belong Together children’s rally in Oakland yesterday.
To prepare, I read some of the parent blogs and educational resources. I tried to give context and background but when the time came, I froze and said, “they’re putting kids in cages…”
Collin immediately reacted…
How, especially in these often dark times, do we maintain? With the horrific state of families being separated, the muslim ban, in addition to the rise of explicit xenophobia and white and ethnic nationalism (and then some…), it makes me want to hold Collin tighter and reach even farther and wider to others who are not so fortunate as us. From #FreeOurFuture #AbolishICE, I’m down for ALL of it.
This is not new at all but it does call for us to give more of ourselves in these times.
I turned 42 last weekend and realized that we need to think about the long arch and act on the day to day battles. I’ve grown a lot, especially the last few years alone, and learned to hold on and let go at the same time….
Tagged: baba, fatherhood, holding on, instincts, letting go, people, practice, strategy
I’m not going to lie, this month has been pretty intense. From our (semi) relaxing Hawaii vacation with my parents and my first foundation gig to documenting stories of our OGs to local guerrilla elections warfare, this month has been hectic to say the least.
I haven’t been writing much lately but now when I don’t write, something doesn’t feel right. Sometimes things feel scattered and I need to make time to catch up with myself, time to breathe, and time to come back to my purpose. Writing and sharing has been one way I’ve been able to do this.
Recently, I’ve been thinking about how people show up for each other. We talk a bit about this in the movement. I wanted to share how we are showing up for Collin as a community. This story makes me proud and grounds me in how I show up for others.
A couple months ago…
Tagged: autism, babahood, bruce lee, children, fatherhood, parenting, showing up
As I’m entering my 40s, I’ve learned a lot about trauma and triggers in life and the movement. From being painfully unaware to being too aware of my own emotions. In my better moments, I’ve had capacity for emotional intelligence. Still, I struggle with holding this tension and feel that sometimes emotional awareness gets conflated with emotional intelligence. In the 21st Century, this dialectic and nuance is even more important to understand.
So what is it?….
Last weekend, I had one of those days of multiple events and was on the go with Collin in the stroller. We needed every ramp and elevator that was available to us. There is not one day that goes by that I dont think or notice the material and non material gains of the disability justice movement. But I know these gains are beyond “access” and towards a new and transformed society.
We tend to take for granted the movement of movements that brought about ramps, elevators, texting, practicing interdependence, self care (not selfish care), the list goes on. We also forget the cross movements of the civil rights and the disability rights movement in the 1970s. I’m no expert but the more I learn, I’m in awe of the boldness and creativity and the invisibility of the disability justice movement….
Tagged: ADA, autism, colorblind, disability justice, transformation, wheelchair access
The past couple weeks have been intense and hectic on so many levels. I have a lot swirling in my head and a lot I want to say. I wanted to share a short story before the weekend began. Being away from Collin is getting harder and harder, how do we prepare ourselves and our little ones?
I’ve been traveling a lot and it will only get worse the next couple of months. Collin is growing (it seems) at a rapid pace. A couple nights ago, after I came home from one evening away, he reacted very differently….
Tagged: babahood, bruce lee, emotions color wheel, fatherhood, hugs, parenting
Last month was one of those months… It was hectic on all levels and I saw it coming. From morning drop off, writing deadlines and meetings/rallies to illness, more deadlines and bedtime routines, there were times I felt like a task master just going through the motions. And honestly, 2018 is just going to get more intense. We are taught to “suck it up”, “lean in” and my fav “power through.” So how do we stay present in the eye of the storm?
This reminded me of a lesson from early parenting. As a new baba, life was kinda hectic. I tried on a lot of new things but nothing scared me more than cutting Collin’s tiny finger nails. The only time we could cut his nails was when he was asleep; when we didn’t cut his nails, he’d pull off his hand socks and claw up his little face up!!….
Tagged: babahood, being present, fingernails, parenting, purpose, strategy
I had a FULL and revolutionary type weekend and it is the new year! There are many parts to this story but it will end here for now. Here are Part 1 and Part 2 if you missed it. I could go on about what else I did in San Diego and my journey but none of it will be as profound as this revelation: Learning to forgive and not forget.
After San Diego, during the start of the US War on Iraq in 2003, I decided to return to my family and community in San Francisco/Bay Area. Before that I took a year off to “heal” in China, of all places, and, during SARS, of all times. I wanted to re-learn and improve my Chinese. I did just that and studied my butt off in Guangzhou, China. It turned out to be one of the most isolating times in my life. But, in insolation, I realized my core purpose, which was coming back to the Bay….
Tagged: burnout, forgiveness, Forgiving not forgetting, Friendster, healing, KKK, love, self-forgiveness, trauma, White Supremacy
Trigger warnings: Recording of racial epithets in a voicemail targeting me and other Black, Latinx, Asian, Pacific Islanders and queer folks. This is one of my darker posts.
After high school, I entered college at UC San Diego as a pretty righteous Asian, a Bay Area Asian. I thought I “overcame” racism and discrimination by proving the racists wrong. I immediately ran for office and became the freshman senator for my college. I thought I was done; but in reality my journey was just beginning.
There is a lot to say about San Diego and I do it here. From being a conservative military and border town to Pete Wilson former mayor running for governor, San Diego was no place for a righteous Asian to be. My heart was crushed many times here and yet my experiences in San Diego also lit a fire in my belly — a fire that has never been extinguished.
1994 was the year that the University of California regents proposed the elimination affirmative action. The campus climate was divided among whites and people of color. You could cut the tension with a knife….
Tagged: affirmative action, Grand Wizard, KKK, No Retreat, racism, SP-1, SP-2, UCSD, White Nationalism, White Supremacy
I often wonder what it will be like when Collin grows up. What will it be like to be Chinese/Vietnamese in the Bay Area. Will he be bullied for being autistic or just being different? I was picked on for being chubby, colorblind, non-athletic, different/awkward, the usual. I was also bullied for being too political or just being Chinese.
In the era of Trumpism, I am surprised (and not surprised) at the re-emergence of the KKK and white nationalism. This was my own experience growing up in the 1980s-90s in the Bay Area, Fremont to be exact.
I actually started writing this during Charlottesville last year and there are 3 parts to the story. Surprisingly, it was over dinner one night that my parents wanted to talk about the KKK and Charlottesville, and of course the violence that was going on…..