In these entrenched times of tragedy and loss, we are fighting for our lives literally and in this mid-term election. At times, it can feel like the world upon our shoulders. We default to anger, pessimism, and isolation, to name a few. I’m learning to unlearn all these habits, learning to surrender — surrender to love, hope, and optimism. This is how we will win our liberation.
No matter what political moment it is, this shows up in parenting almost every single day. I’m constantly practicing how to surrender in the present moment.
There are many mornings as I’m trying to get Collin off to school, I do the usual routine and do everything “right” but something along the way can still trigger him. Nothing that could be predicted or controlled. Then each tantrum or meltdown is met with my anger and frustration. The more we are dug in, the longer we are in it. I’m not centered, I just want to get to work. He’s definitely not centered and just wants to be heard.
In more difficult moments, I’ve surrendered and told Collin the hard truths of kids in cages, families being separated, climate change, the list goes on… but I assure him that he is loved and that we will always be here for him. There are still days he asks me, “Why baba does Trump put kids in cages? Why baba??” My heart breaks a little more every time I hear him and it will only continue.
So there are days, I surrender to what is right in front of me to find the new path.
“So there are days, I surrender to what is right in front of me to find the new path.”
This is not “surrender” in a traditional sense but rather an unlearning of what this vicious system teaches us to do everyday. If this system is constantly trying to de-center, disrupt and divide us, how do we fight for our lives — our liberation — centered in our purpose and what’s at stake?
Surrendering can look like a lot of things. It could be a half step and a deep breath before we take action. It could be punching above our weight when in doubt or going slow to go fast. It could be listening to mistakes when we fail. It is doing our very best.
But no matter what, my greatest unlearning is that we never surrender in isolation.
“But no matter what, my greatest unlearning is that we never surrender in isolation.”
Sometimes isolation is our default but our best defense is to open up and reach for others. Our love and vulnerability can bring greater unity, strength, and clarity to move forward. Crisis can be an opening for optimism and hope. Sometimes, surrendering to the strength of our past and ancestors who gave us today, is what we need to get us through these difficult times.
Image of me and Collin last week supporting Gordon Mar for Supervisor in the Sunset, District 4 in San Francisco. There are Gordon Mar signs in our background.
In the midst of everything, I’m surrendering to hope and optimism not anger and pessimism. I’ve been working on these local races and bringing Collin along with me, which makes me a little slower on the doors but this is also how we are planting seeds of resistance for our future. I know it is not everything but it kinda is everything to me right now because I know I’m not alone. I know I’m with the thousands on the ground across the state and country right now who will change this country and (eventually) win our liberation. All this will not be easy but we are not alone.
Let’s surrender to new ways for our liberation. Surrender to making the impossible possible. Because in the end, I don’t just want ripples, but tides and waves; I don’t just want disruption and revolution, I want transformation. I want us to have it all because we deserve it all.
